


Features and Assets

by FrankTheSnek



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Anal Sex, Attempt at Humor, First Time, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Rimming, rodney mckay's great ass
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-23
Updated: 2020-11-23
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:41:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27687089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FrankTheSnek/pseuds/FrankTheSnek
Summary: John broke into a wide grin eyes crinkling up with contained laughter. "You think your ass is your best feature?""Yes yes, go on laugh it up!" Rodney snapped glaring at the soldier. "For your information I happen to have a great ass."
Relationships: Rodney McKay/John Sheppard
Comments: 13
Kudos: 116





	Features and Assets

**Author's Note:**

> Nothing deep here folks. PWP inspired solely by the fact that David Hewlett has a pretty nice ass and wasn't afraid to show it earlier in his career.

Rodney had been a little mopey for days. John couldn't really blame him. Getting shot in the ass with an arrow had probably been as painful to his ego as it had been to his ass. Still John knew the other man had been given the all clear medically and it wasn’t the first time Rodney’s pride had been wounded. So really John saw no reason for the other man to still seem so down.

John decided it was his duty as team leader and best friend to cheer Rodney up. Which was why he was standing outside his door armed with classic Lay's potato chips and the original _Planet of The Apes_ DVD box set. Rodney opened his door and John plastered on one of his charming smiles. "Movie night," he declared and shouldered his way into the scientist’s room without waiting for an invitation.

"Um ok?" Rodney said letting the door slide shut and giving John a funny look. It wasn’t like they didn't have movie nights on a semi regular basis but it was normally planed out ahead of time not just an impromptu thing. "Any particular reason why you are commandeering my evening? Not that I mind."

"Because you have been all sad and nursing a bruised ego ever sense you took that arrow to the butt and I'm tired of it. So we are going to eat junk food watch some classic movies and you’re going to get over it."

"It did not bruise my ego," Rodney defended with a slight scowl. "My ego is perfectly intact and I do not need cheering up."

"Rodney I've known you long enough to know when something is bothering. And I know you well enough to know if it’s not something you’re openly complaining about that means it’s really bothering you." John said as he hijacked Rodney’s laptop and put in the first movie. Popping open the bag of chips he plopped into the desk chair and held the bag out to the scientist. "Why is it bugging you so much anyway?" He questioned taking a handful of chips for himself when Rodney made no move for them. He set the bag on the desk and eyed Rodney while he munched and the opening credits rolled. 

"Why is what bugging me?" Rodney asked as he sat on his bed settling in for the movie. 

"The whole getting shot in the butt thing. You've had worse injuries before." John watched the movie while he spoke so he missed the bright blush that danced over Rodney’s face.

"Its not bothering me I'm fine." Rodney insisted shifting around a little. The wound was mostly healed but the damaged cheek was still a touch tender. 

"Uh huh," John drawled clearly not buying it and turned a skeptical side eye on the scientist. "Bruised ego," he sing-songed.

"Yeah well how would you feel if someone shaved a big chunk of your hair off." Rodney snapped.

"My hair?" John questioned turning away from the movie to look at Rodney. The scientist had his arms crossed defiantly over his chest. "What does my hair have to do with anything?"

"Nothing. Never mind. Just watch the movie," Rodney mumbled face turning even more red.

John reached out and paused the laptop signaling that the conversation was to be continued. This earned a heavy sigh from Rodney.

"It’s your best feature," the scientist conceded waving a hand in the general direction of John’s head.

"You think?" John asked with a smirk running a hand through his hair. He had never given much though to his hair. Mainly because despite his best efforts it always just did whatever it wanted so he figured why bother. "Thanks....but I don't see what that has to do with anything."

Rodney shrugged. "If someone shaved off a chunk of your hair it would ruin it right? No one wants their best feature compromised."

"Ok...true," John drawled slowly. "I still don't get—wait a second," John broke into a wide grin eyes crinkling up with contained laughter. "You think your ass is your best feature?"

"Yes yes, go on laugh it up!" Rodney snapped glaring at the soldier. "For your information I happen to have a great ass. A fact most of my exs will agree with thank very much. And that stupid arrow wound left a scar."

"You think your _ass_ is your best feature." John repeated not able to hold back his laughter this time. “Or, or would that be your best _ass_ et,” John managed around his obnoxious hee-haws. Rodney just continued to glare clearly not finding the discussion as humorous as John did.

The scientist huffed in annoyance giving the stink eye to John until he stopped shaking with amusement. "If you’re finished can we continue with the movie now." 

"Oh no way am I letting this go so easy," John said wagging a finger at Rodney. "Show me."

"I'm sorry what?"

"Show me."

"Why on earth would I want to show you my ass?"

"You're the one that brought it up and it is _supposedly_ your best feature," John prodded giggling again—in a very manly way.

"I most definitely am not the one who brought it up! You're the one who waltzed in here and started talking about my butt. I wanted to keep watching the movie." 

"Fine we can go back to the movie," John said with a shrug. He turned and unpaused it. Not even thirsty second into it playing the soldier sighed and mumbled, "must not really be that great."

Growling in annoyance Rodney stood from the bed and paused the movie again. "Alright fine if you're really that interested." Before he could change his mind and chicken out Rodney turned his back on John and started undoing his belt.

John was about to say that he had just been messing around but it was too late. Rodney shoved his pants and shorts down to his knees and John kind of lost his train of thought.

The first thought that his short circuited mind came up with was that clearly he had not seen Rodney in civvies often enough. Because if he had seen the other man in properly fitting non military issued pants he definitely would have noticed that ass. That full, well shaped, delicious looking ass. 

John had taken his turn on the bi-curious train in college and gotten of at the mostly straight—but hey if the opportunity presented its self sex with a guy was still sex—platform. John was also most definitely an ass man. Breasts were fun, long legs were sexy as hell, but male or female nothing beat a nice ass.

Rodney had a nice ass. More than a hand full, which was exactly the way it should be. He would say unblemished but there was the scar Rodney had mentioned. The fresh pink of new scar tissue stood out like a neon sign against the pale smoothness of Rodney's flesh. However in John’s opinion it did nothing to take away from the overall appeal of Rodney's backside and the soldier was nearly drooling over it.

Rodney was glad John couldn't see his face because he was sure it was beet red at this point. The soldier wasn't saying anything and with each second that ticked by Rodney’s embarrassment increased by a factor of ten. Having a partner ogle his ass was fine, empowering, a turn on. Having his team leader and best friend stare at it wordlessly was awkward as hell. Clearing his throat he tried to think of something to say. Coming up blank he moved to pull his pants up but was stopped by two strong hands on his backside.

Rodney jumped a little at the unexpected contact then shivered as John’s hands kneaded his cheeks. "Meet uh your approval?" He managed to get out around his suddenly dry tongue.

John hummed pleasantly as he felt Rodney up. The other man’s cheeks were the perfect balance of soft and firm. "Damn Rodney," John said simply and continued to touch. Rodney wasn’t saying stop so he was going to feel his fill.

He ran his hands down to the crease where ass met thighs and around to Rodney’s hips. Lightly he skimmed his fingers over the fresh scar and found the way Rodney’s cheeks clenched up at the contact oddly arousing. Taking note that it must still be tender he palmed the cheeks again being gentle on the injured side.

"Alright gotta hand it to you Rodney it’s a pretty great ass." John punctuated this statement by lightly slapping the uninjured cheek.

Rodney groaned softly at the contact. John’s groping had him half hard and Rodney would be lying if he said he wanted the other man to stop. "Told you so," he said voice just a little tight. Subtly Rodney shifted his hips back to press into John’s hands hoping the other man would receive the message that continuing was ok. 

Apparently the message was received load and clear because John’s hands were moving again. Fingers kneading the soft flesh and dipping between the cheeks. He pulled them apart slightly and groaned a little at the sight. The things he wanted to do. Mouth flooding with saliva John swallowed thickly and had to clear his throat before speaking again. "When was the last time you showered?"

"What? Uh shortly before you showed up. Why?" Rodney questioned glancing over his shoulder. John gave him a wicked grinned and sank to his knees with far more grace than a man pushing forty should have. "John what are you—oh my god!" Rodney's question was answered before he could even finish it and for a moment Rodney was sure he had stroked out and died. He must have because that was John Sheppard’s tongue running the length of his ass crack. Those were strong slightly calloused hands pulling his cheeks apart so that hot tongue had better access. 

John buried his face in Rodney. Flattening his tongue against the warm lightly soap scented skin of Rodney’s taint and running it up the length of his cleft. Pausing John pressed it flat and firm against his opening. It made the scientist groan and he tried to spread his legs but was stopped by the pants still bunched around his knees.

"Fuck let me just," Rodney muttered and bent to push them down. John’s hands were there to help and in short order pants and shorts were pooled at Rodney’s feet. He stepped out of them and widened his stance. Behind him John made a deep throaty sound and shoved at his back. Taking the hint Rodney bent forward bracing his hands on the bed. Then wet hotness was back on him. "Oh my god, oh god. I can't believe your—on my god." Rodney babbled articulately.

John would have smiled at the praises if his mouth wasn't otherwise occupied. He held Rodney cheeks open wide, nipped and sucked at the soft flesh of them. Then his tongue was back skimming along Rodney's cleft again. John nosed at the base licking firmly at Rodney’s taint and just barely grazing his balls. Then it was back up again, short firm passes over Rodney's opening. 

The scientist was still babbling his words broken by groans and little mewls that he would surly deny if asked about later. John was loving it. The tremble in Rodney's thighs. The taste of clean warm skin under his tongue. He pointed his tongue and pressed in breaching Rodney for the first time. 

John was rewarded with a loud moan that was potentially intended to be his name. He repeated this several times. Pressing into Rodney’s body groaning at velvet tightness. He flicked his tongue firmly over Rodney’s entice a couple more times in quick succession before drawing back. Laving his tongue over the crease where ass met thigh John nipped up over Rodney's uninjured cheek until he was nuzzling the base of his spine.

As John stood he drug his hands up Rodney's back pushing his shirt up. Once fully standing he moved his hands around, palms spreading out over the other man's chest. "Can I fuck you?" He asked mouth right against Rodney's ear.

"What? Are you kidding? You just—why would I say no to—night stand, bottom drawer, under the physics journals."

John was moving before Rodney had even finished the sentience. Just like the scientist had said under a thick stack of physics journals was a box of condoms and a bottle of lube. "I know you love your job and are super into your work but please tell me you don't jerk off to quantum physics." John joked as he returned to his position behind the other man.

"What no, of course not." Rodney replied giving John a funny look. He was now standing up straight and tugged his rucked up shirt off over his head. 

John hummed approvingly at this and reached out to slid his palm over the broad expanse of Rodney’s back. Warm pale unblemished skin. It was as pleasing an eye full as Rodney’s ass was. Opening the lube John slicked his fingers and as he pressed against Rodney’s opening he bent down to nuzzle and bite at the other man’s shoulder. Rodney groaned at both contacts and let his head lull to the side granting John more skin to molest.

John made out wetly with Rodney’s neck for several long moments while he fingered him open. Rodney just held on for the ride gasping and shuddering and urging John on. By the time John had three fingers slipping in Rodney was panting and cursing, pressing his whole body back against John. "Would you just…for Christ sake come on. _John_." Rodney whined and the soldier bit firmly at his shoulder one last time before pulling back.

"Alright, alright. Hold your horses. Just let me..." John's sentience drifted off as he opened his pants leaving them to hang loosely around his hips. He sighed in pleasure as his aching and neglected cock was freed. Rolling on the condom took only a moment then his hands were back on Rodney's body. "Lean forward," he said gently and Rodney obeyed. 

Bending over he planted his hands on the bed. John took in the site, again amazed by the beauty of all the skin in front of him. Running his hands down from shoulders to ass he left wet smears of lube over Rodney’s back. Cupping the fullness of the other man's backside again he spread his cheeks and swallowed thickly.

"John," Rodney whispered and glanced back over his shoulder. They locked eyes for a moment then John started to press in and Rodney let his head fall forward. Groaning at the feel of being stretched open and filled. There was the customary moment of stillness then John was rocking into him. Short half thrusts that slowly turned into long steadily paced deep presses of his body against Rodney's. "Yes, yeah. Like that, just—oh god John yeah keep—"

John was completely unsurprised by Rodney's constant stream of breathy words. Rodney's praises and sex sounds were genuine and seemed so fitting of who he was. It made things seem that much more real. Made the reality that he was having sex with his best friend all the more obvious. It was somehow not surprising that it didn’t feel weird. John smiled a lazy loose smile and bent forward, pressing sloppy wet kisses along Rodney's spine.

"Oh good god. That’s…its, its good. Bite. You can—Ah yeah that! Like that." Rodney rolled his shoulders when sharp teeth against his back sent little sparks dancing across his skin. Sharp nips up his spine and over the bone of a shoulder blade. Rodney pressed back against John on every thrust wanting more, needing more. "Hader John, you can—please fuck... just harder." Rodney shifted his arms so he was braced on his elbows instead of his hands presenting John with an even better angle to take him from.

John did not need to be told twice. Straightening up he increased the tempo of his thrusts. Faster, firmer, deeper. John moved his hands back to Rodney's ass and gipped the cheeks firmly, spreading them so he could watch himself enter the other man. John could do nothing but moan and pant at the sight because fuck Rodney was amazing. 

John moved his hands up to Rodney's waist and thrust a little harder. This pulled a pleasured shout from the other man and John smiled as he kept at it. Still looking down he was mesmerized by the bounce of Rodney backside against his hips. The supple flesh rippling with the force of his movements. 

Then the angle changed again as Rodney shifted. Bracing his weight on one elbow and leaning more heavily into the bed, Rodney moved his other hand down to wrap around his cock. John couldn’t see the act but the jerky movements of his arm were enough to give a pretty vivid mental image. "Rodney, fuck! Rodney," John’s movements became stuttered and uncoordinated as his orgasm broke over him. 

Rodney was right there with him pressing back on to John hard. "Don't stop, don't...I'm almost. Yes!" Rodney babbled, talking John through his orgasm and then shouting out his own climax. Hand moving with just as little coordination as John's thrusts he shot on the bed pleasure finally leaving him speechless.

Both men were left still and panting as they waited for the fog of orgasm to clear from their minds. John recovered first. Pulling out he made his way to the trash can at Rodney's desk to discard the condom. When he got back to the bed Rodney was already laying down. Still breathing hard but looking far more relaxed than John had ever seen him. John lay down next to him still working on catching his own breath.

"Well that was....unexpected," Rodney said after a moment.

"Yeah you could say that," John agreed.

Rodney looked over at him mouth turned down in a small frown. "You didn't even get undressed." He observed with what seemed like disapproval.

Curling up John tugged his t-shirt off and then lay back down. "Better?"

Rodney looked him over very slowly. Eyes scanning the newly exposed planes of John's chest and stomach. Pausing briefly at John's waist where his cock lay wet, limp, and plump against his hip. "Yes, much." Rodney finally said eyes moving back up to John's face. 

"Good," John agreed and shifted around some more until he was settled comfortably. This entailed him being pressed against Rodney's side with one leg crossed over Rodney's ankle and both hands folded casually behind his head. Eyes closed he proceeded too drift in the pleasant post orgasm bliss.

"So uh should we, you know, talk ab—"

"Don't ruin it Rodney," John cut him off not bothering to open his eyes. 

"Oh right. Right," Rodney said and stared up at the ceiling. Drumming his fingers over his belly Rodney managed to keep quiet for an astonishing fifteen seconds. "I mean because we are both grown men so we’re allowed to have casual sex that doesn't mean anything. But if it were to mean something—which it doesn't have to—that would also be fine. And regardless of meaning versus not meaning anything it could potentially happen again. If we were both so inclined. Not that it has to because again, both grown men free to have casual sex an—"

"Ruining it," John sing-songed and Rodney stopped talking immediately. John waited a full two minutes before opening his eyes and looking over at Rodney. The scientist was staring back at him, mouth pinched into a tight slanting line that told exactly how hard he was trying not to talk. They locked eyes for a long moment before Rodney huffed and turned to look at the ceiling again. John chuckled lightly and then turned onto his side propping himself up on an elbow to look down at the other man. "Your eyes," he said simply as if it made perfect sense and wasn't totally random.

"What?" Rodney turned his gaze back to John.

"First thing I noticed about you when we met. Not your ass. Your eyes." John explained and gestured his free hand in a little circle towards Rodney's face. "They're just so...blue."

"Well thank you John. You're a regular poet," Rodney said sarcastically with a roll of his eyes and a smile. 

"Thanks I try," John grinned.

There was a brief interlude of silence and staring then Rodney spoke again. "Your smile. The real one. Not the fake, obnoxious, overly charming one you use on pretty aliens."

"Hey my 'we come in peace' smile is _not_ obnoxious," John defended with mock offense.

"Yes, yes it is." Rodney said with a tone of certainty. Then he reached out and brushed his thumb over John’s plump bottom lip. "You don't smile for real often enough...its nice when you do." Rodney's fingers moved to stroke over the stubble on John's jaw. The soldier’s eyes darted away from Rodney's looking down almost shyly as a smile started to tug at his mouth. "There. That one," Rodney said softly.

Looking back up John smiled wider knowing it was making the wrinkles at the corners of his eyes stand out but not caring. Leaning down he kissed Rodney slowly. Tongue teasing against the crease of Rodney's mouth until he opened to let John in. Rodney sighed and moved a hand to John's thick hair as their tongues wrapped around each other. The kiss only lasted a brief moment then Rodney was shoving John back.

"Oh gross! Your mouth—you were just—go brush your teeth!" Rodney exclaimed flapping a hand in the direction of the bathroom. John collapsed back to the bed arms wrapped around himself as he broke down into a fit of donkey laughter. "It is not funny!" Rodney scolded and shoved at John in an attempt to make him go. 

"Alright I'm going," John said still chuckling at he stood. "And when I get back we can continue not talking about things." Leaning back in John stole a quick close mouthed kiss.

“I like not talking, not talking is good.” Rodney agreed sitting up to watch John walk towards the bathroom. 

There was quiet and running water then the sound of the shower turning on. Rodney watch the doorway brow pinched with confusion. John stepped into view, now fully nude. “I think we should not talk in the shower,” he said with a lecherous smirk.

“And I think you’re a genius,” Rodney replied as he joined John in the bathroom. He pulled the soldier in for a kiss pleased with the sharp mintyness of his mouth. “You found the spare brush right? You didn’t use mine did you?” Rodney asked as he pulled back sounding overly worried.

John huffed and rolled his eyes. “Just get in the shower Rodney,” he drawled gently shoving the other man towards it.

“Because if you used mine I am throwing it away! Do you have any idea how un—" 

“You're ruining it again Rodney.”

“Oh…well then by all means shut me up,” Rodney conceded. Tugging the scientist into the shower John proceeded to do just that.


End file.
